The Third Genre

Monday, July 31, 2006

The Spritual Poverty of the Gay Lifestyle!


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THE EARLY YEARS

Fortunately for all Americans the 1960's, 70's and then 80's led first to greater sexual freedom and liberation - and then to greater sexual honesty, The internet boom of the last decade solidified those gains to the extent that there can likely never really be a return to the sexual "dark ages".

THE GAYS & THE "THREE B's"

Gays and Lesbians had historically lived prior to the Stonewall Riots lives of quiet desperation "in the closet" facing overt hostility and repression every day of their lives.
After the STONEWALL RIOTS - our gay and lesbian brothers and sisters overall marched straight out of their closets and eventually right down MAIN STREET or FIFTH AVENUE or MARKET STREET or SANTA MONICA BOULEVARD in their festive PRIDE PARADES across North America and now across the world. Many gays and to a lesser extent Lesbians want to be open about their sexual orientation - while this is NOT the case with most bisexuals - especially happy bisexuals.

Soon across America there were dozens of openly gay bars, adult bookstores, and bathhouses in every major North American city. Gay Community Centers sprouted in most every major North American city - save San Francisco - where until recently the community was so fractious they could not even open such a center! Gay Community Centers with time became Gay and Lesbian Centers - then GLBT Centers and soon to be GLBT and P - polyamory - and Q centers - Queer.
Maybe one fine day even the new, trendy METROSEXUALS will join the sexual minorities to party and to parade!

The GAY PARADIGM - which emerged as a result of this desire for being OPEN - was often confrontational to the larger straight community with a certain "WE'RE QUEER and WE'RE HERE!" element in far too many areas of America. In the gay era before AIDS the fact of life was that the gay community was hijacked by the THREE B'S who made a killing - and also ultimately killed off thousands if not millions of gays. They are the BARS, the BATHS, and the BOOKSTORES. Their agenda was to make FILTHY LUCRE and they did so rapaciously for years and years. Gay communities in these early years - including their activists and journalists became dependent on these deep pockets but they too were all too often caught in the thrall of the 3 B's AGENDA - even hidden agenda of SEEK BUT DO NOT FIND.

Even today the "beau ideal" of the American gay community is some twenty-something twink or hunk or military type - portrayed again and again for decades endlessly and all but mindlessly. This beau ideal type can never be snared and brought home to one's bed - save at a hefty price (escorts and models or trade) - much less to one's life and family! Billions have been and will continue to be made on the backs and knees of these 18 to 25 year olds who are then cast off for next year's "model". Nothing is sadder than meeting a middle-aged towel boy at a gay bath or spa or a broken down bartender at some gay bar who openly laments that he was once "somebody" in the gay limelight years ago.

The NOT so secret moneymaking agenda of the POWERS THAT BE in the gay community - the 3 B's and their legion of co- conspirators was "SEEK BUT DO NOT FIND". Gay men HAD to go out as often as possible to the bars, the baths or the bookstores - as they might be missing out on something or someone. Even if they found someone it was and is all too often a one-night stand if not a 15 minute standup. One gay friend recently admitted to me he had not had horizontal gay sex since the AIDS epidemic was full-blown (i.e. two decades). While many gay men do find long-term committed relationships - as the new Gay Episcopal Bishop of New Hampshire - far too many will regale you with Elizabeth Taylor-esque tales of their 13 husbands and numerous affairs - few lasting more than a season or two. BUT - the 3 B's want gays "to seek but do not find" - to be good consumers - good customers! I attended University of California's Hastings College of the Law in San Francisco in the early 70's and one openly notorious homosexual law student openly proclaimed that his small gay bar and its 11 long-term regular patrons who cashed their every paycheck there paid his way through law school. He admitted that over two dozen such "regulars" were openly feted at all major holidays and their every birthday to keep them as "regulars".

Even to this day - the GAY PARADIGM - the GAY COMMUNITY is still trying to shirk this "seek but do not find" rigid pattern. Unlike many happy bisexuals - gays and even many Lesbians - are still under this spell - notwithstanding that even the major gay mecca cities San Francisco and New York closed the gay baths - gay bars are half in number or half full today -yet the adult bookstores - and videos - and pornographers are richer than ever - harvesting a new crop of young twinks and studs for their 15 minutes of fame every season of every year until the end of time. The internet has been a major boon to pornography and pornography sales worldwide especially in the gay "beefcake" market.

THE THREE B'S REPLACED BY MAJOR MERCHANTS OF GREED

Things - largely due to AIDS as well as long-term maturing gay and lesbian community - have changed and are changing - but the change from the "3 B's" holding the community in its thrall has morphed into gross and crass materialism as soon as the major marketing gurus found the Gay and Lesbian NICHE of affluent consumers with huge discretionary spending who were eager to "Seek and Find" and then "Seek and Find" again - consumer goods and luxury travel and the like.

NOW the vast majority of the FORTUNE 500 companies market to the Gay and Lesbian Community noting in their marketing circles that the Gay and Lesbian market is one of the larger and more affluent segments of today's marketplace. Gays and Lesbians who were already as average American consumers easy prey for materialism and consumerism were even more easily influenced when buying this and that product led to acceptance by this or that major corporate icon, this or that major world conglomerate - tied with greater status and greater rank in one's millieu.

HERE COME THE ALTERNATIVES:

Finally, after this gay party and Pride parade - then gay + Lesbian party and parade - was far along - here come some welcome alternatives. The Metropolitian Community Church has been with us for decades and has sought to help fill the spiritual hunger of many gays and lesbians who want to find that solace and inner peace in a gay and Lesbian religious setting.
Many mainstream Christian churches have embraced the gay and lesbian community in many outreach programs as the Churchof Christ and the Unitarian/Universalists and the gay and lesbian support groups and organizations within their home churches as Dignity, Integritry, and the Brethern and the like. Islam offered up "Gay Muslim" groups and there are many GLBT groups for Jews, Buddhists, and other faiths.

Many gay and lesbians have also explored alternatives to organized religions with New Age thinking, yoga, Scientology and other stops on that long travelled road the American pursuit of happiness trail.

Microcosm vs. Macrocosm:

Maybe gays and lesbians just finally caught up with the mainstream of American life - gross, crass materialism being catered to and cajoled into more and more consumer spending and more and more consumer debt to "Seek and Find" and then continually in yet more and more rounds of self-indulgence and over-indulgence to "Seek and Find" again and again. Sadly there is no "silver bullet" for the Gay and Lesbian community nor American society as a whole. When and where will we all find something more valuable, reliable and relevant - than buy, buy, buy and more, more, more? When?

Best Wishes,

Stewart (Mac) McCloud, Founder/President, Bi MEN NETWORK, www.bimen.org - 1/4 million men with us today!

-END-

About The Author

Stewart (Mac) McCloud is the Founder & President of the Bi MEN NETWORK - www.bimen.org - the world's largest social & support organization for bisexual men, bi-curious male, gay guys & bi couples. Now with over 1/4 million such adult members across all six continents it is the world's largest association today with a bisexual focus. Many gay men who were previously bisexual or gay men disaffected and alienated from the gay lifestyle are part of the Bi Men Network. Free social support and resources with a bi male focus!
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Friday, July 07, 2006

Gay Weddings Hit The Highlands


PlanetOut Personals


It's all systems go in the Highlands for wedding planners and wedding venues alike. On 21st December, this year, Civil Partnerships between same sex couples - commonly known as Gay Weddings - will be permitted throughout the UK. Already, some Scottish wedding planners report considerable interest from the gay and lesbian communities for the traditional 'kilt and bagpipes' wedding in a Highland castle or a luxury hotel.

But the arrival of equality in the wedding aisle north of the border has not been without its hiccups. As The Press and Journal reported on 4th August: "Highland councillors have recommended registrars only perform a basic registration - the absolute minimum required by the legislation..."

Not surprisingly this perceived homophobia caused an uproar in the gay and lesbian community, and among politicians at the national level. Intensive lobbying of the council began.

Other Scottish local authorities reacted differently. Perth and Kinross, Angus, Aberdeenshire, Argyll and Bute, Moray and Aberdeen City Councils, for example, all announced their unqualified acceptance of the spirit of the Civil Partnershp Act, as well as its letter.

The lobbying process, and some would say common sense and fairness as well, won the day. On 17th August, at another meeting of the Highland Council Resources Committee, the following was approved:

"a) that Civil Partnerships in Highland be registered in Registration Offices or in other locations agreed for the purpose subject to checks, where appropriate, to establish any health and safety issues which might affect staff in respect of alternative locations

b) that Registration takes the form of a simple registration, or a ceremony as requested by the partners"

And so, Scottish gay weddings websites are up and running, advertising campaigns have started, and wedding venues are having to think through the services they offer to same sex couples after years of catering only to heteros. It will be interesting and not a little exciting to see how they all fare. Whatever happens, the average Scot, Lowlander or Highlander, will be only too ready, willing and able to toast the happy couple with a wee dram of single malt. Slainte!

About The Author


Charlie Taylor lives in Glasgow and is a founder member of Gay Weddings In Scotland http://www.gayweddinginscotland.co.uk/ and its parent company Highland Country Weddings Ltd http://www.highlandcountryweddings.co.uk/. Visit either website for free, no obligation discussion about your wedding plans and free quote.


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Defending their rite (The Providence Journal)Frank Ferri and Tony Caparco, and Dr. Andrew Snyder and Robert Waters, recently legally wed in Canada, say they'll continue to fight for gay marriage in Rhode Island.

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Tuesday, July 04, 2006

The Three Keys to Gay Relationships

by: Tim Partha


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As a gay man in his forties I don't claim to be a "dating expert". That said however, I must tell you that personally I don't like to think of two people getting together to spend time with each other as dating. I really dislike labels. When the term dating is used I feel that it denotes preconcieved images of how an evening has to play out. There is nothing wrong with just spending time with somebody and getting to know them without any pressure, and just seeing what happens from there.

I like to be honest with somebody that I am interested in. I think that it is extremely important to be yourself, don't misrepresent who you are, and above all else, to know what you want out of a potential relationship. Just like any other goal that you are striving toward you have to be able to define it. You have to know what you are looking for, in a mate, partner, sex buddy, or whatever kind of relationship you are striving to attain. If you can effectively communicate what you would like your relationship to be and be honest about your expectations, you and your date will know if they are wasting their time. It is always better to know if you are compatible sooner rather than later. I tend to know exactly what I want and I am always honest about communicating it to the other person. At this point you might be thinking that there is no possibility that you could be so bold.

Being bold is not that difficult. Myself, I am generally not a very forward person when it comes to meeting people but, I have thought about each time that I have met an interesting guy whether it be in a bar, coffee house or social event. Each time had something in common. That something is that, somebody has to make contact. Don't use a corny line or gimmick. Be yourself and state what you want. It can be as simple and straight forward as saying, "you look like an interesting guy so I just wanted to come over and say hi". If you want to go to dinner, hang out, go to a movie or whatever....ask for it. I find that being bold and directly stating what you want is more effective than beating around the bush and cuts through all of the game playing. I have had guys tell me that they wanted to, hang out sometime, go to dinner, make me dinner, go to a movie, go to a wine tasting party, have sex, go for coffee and you know what? It worked, not all of the time but a good share of the time. State what you want and you just might get it. Don't play games.

Datable guys, or rather guys with potential for what I am looking for, just have to be who they normally are. Anybody looking for that perfect guy is being unrealistic. Expecting somebody to be perfect is way too much pressure. Our quirks and imperfections are what make us unique and interesting. Don't try too hard, don't be needy, and don't be upset if somebody shoots you down. Go meet somebody else.

So to tie it all up it really is quite simple to meet somebody for whatever type of relationship you are looking for. All you need to remember is to be bold, honest and datable.

About The Author


Tim Partha is just simply a gay man in his forties out in the trenches of gay society. Webmaster of www.gaydatereview.com.

(c) TLP 2006

Community Marketing, Inc. Announces Sale of its Gay & Lesbian World Travel Expo division to HX Media, LLC (U.S. Newswire via Yahoo! News)Community Marketing, Inc., the San Francisco-based gay research, marketing and communications firm, announced the sale of its Expo Division to HX Media LLC. Community Marketing innovated the Gay & Lesbian World Travel Expo series in 1993, becoming the first gay market- dedicated travel shows for consumers and travel professionals. HX Media produces the Gay Life Expo, the largest consumer show of


Gay Power: The pink list (Independent)Tonight, London's EuroPride ends with a show at the Royal Albert Hall, featuring Graham Norton, Sir Ian McKellen, Julian Clary, Elton John and Sandi Toksvig. But there is another list of high-profile names linked to this weekend's celebration of gay and lesbian Britain that shows how times have changed since the Pride march was purely political and was attempting to win now accepted rights such

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Monday, July 03, 2006

How to choose a Gay Dating Site

by: Paul Kevin

GAY.COM Personals

Not all the Gay sites that now proliferate on the internet are well put together and you cannot always rely on them for a pleasant experience! Whilst all the Gay dating sites will clearly not be the same we should consider some basic requirements.

Gay dating sites differ in many aspects including the facilities they provide, the demographics they cater for, the way they allow contact between the members, membership fee, the option of matchmaking and many other aspects. You can choose the best Gay dating site for you by considering these areas to ensure that they meet your requirements.

If you are interested in meeting potential gay partners of a particular age, race or creed then you can look for those sites that have the selective search facility. Many of the sites simply put a list of other people looking for someone, which can create some problems in getting started. However, there are sites available through which you can search using pre-defined criteria. This kind of facility increases the efficiency of the whole process and generally these sorts of sites will attract more people and therefore increase the possibility of finding someone from those who register with them.

Another factor that is important when choosing when deciding which site to use is the nature of and extent to which contact is allowed between the members. Of course it entirely depends on how you want to deal with this issue. There are sites that strictly safeguard personal information like telephone numbers and addresses. However, there are sites that have the facility of private chat rooms that allow sharing of personal details when you feel comfortable doing so. Clearly choosing a site that allows intimate contact may work in your favour as well as against you. The restrictions placed on contact are put in place as a safety measure and it may sometimes restrict your access if you really want to make contact with a potential partner. You should carefully consider the different options available to you before you register yourself with a site to ensure that you are completely happy with the way the site operates.

There are others features that are equally important in choosing a Gay dating site. There can be hundreds if not thousands of profiles available on a gay dating site and it can be tiresome to work your way through them to find a match for yourself. However, some sites offer matchmaking facilities through which you get qualified gay prospects that match with your specific profile. This saves your time and you can get on with the business of meeting potential partners as soon as possible. It is important to analyze the kind of profiles that are displayed on a site before you register. It is important because some sites have pictures enticing you to join the site and then you find that none of the people really exist!

Most importantly, you will want to choose a gay dating site that is user friendly. Some sites are difficult to work with whereas some gay dating sites are smooth platforms which enable you to easily interact and chat with others. Additional features like dating tips and articles can increase the value of the site and many people (especially new users) prefer these kinds of sites. If the sites allow a trial period then using them before paying for it is preferable. For a perfect gay online dating experience it is essential to find a gay dating site that meets your needs!

About The Author


Paul Kevin provides a great resource on Gay Dating at http://www.gay-dating-sites.co.uk.

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posted by femme_in_love at 3:30 PM 0 comments

Lesbian Dating

by: Andy Balasis


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Lesbian dating is becoming more and more popular in open society. People are now open to the fact that women are in relationships with each other, and men just love it. Females that openly admit that they are gay are often popular with other members of their community, although this was not the case years ago. With lesbian relationships being the basis of most men's fantasies it is no wonder that society has relaxed more to women being gay than men.

Some women are still against the idea though but they are of the minority. Figures show that there are a lot more supporters to the gay cause than there have ever been before. More women are know opening up to the fact that they think about or have actually had sexual contact with other women and it is a known fact that most women will think about it during their life. We are now in a very open and modern society so it is no wonder that these figures have been made public and are not shocking.

Lesbians showing affection to each other in public would be tolerated, but if a gay (men) couple were to do this they would be harassed. It is still sad to see that because there is more "nice" exposure on the lesbian front men gay couples are still suffering bad media attention although there are some very famous men who have openly admitted being gay.

Today's world has opened up new doors for lesbian couples (and gays). We live in a world where you can join in a civil partnership (a marriage) with your partner rather than ridiculed and made a fun of. This just goes to show that differences are being accepted and that no one should have to hide who they are, or what they are because they may not be accepted by the public eye. I say who cares what others think, be yourself. And being yourself has become much easier with online gay club, gay personals, lesbian dating at www.onlinegayclub.com .

About The Author


Andy Balasis writes articles about struggles in today's society..money,dating and sexuality issues. If you would like to know more about online gay club, gay personals or lesbian dating please visit www.OnlineGayClub.com.

admin@onlinegayclub.com

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posted by femme_in_love at 12:21 AM 0 comments